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Put this on, I need to listen to your lungs

October 6, 2009

I was in the ER last night. It’s the first time I’ve ever been admitted to an actual hospital. A tooth of mine started hurting yesterday morning and kept getting worse and worse, despite heavy pain killers. It felt like someone was driving an icepick down through my tooth #31 (in the lingo). This is the first time I’ve ever had to put on one of those hospital gowns, the kind with that make your butt hang out. Actually though, my butt didn’t seem to hang out of this one. It took me quite a while to figure out how to put the damn thing on. Anyway, a few observations:

1. When the nurse asks whether you want a shot in the butt or the thigh, choose the butt. She doesn’t mean a normal old needle under the skin shot, she means she’s about to stab you straight down with the needle in her fist. Somehow it seems like it would be easier to take in the butt (hehe).

2. Whenever I’ve been in a doctor’s office, or dentist’s office, with a TV on during the daytime, it’s always Sponge Bob or something worse on Nickelodian. In the ER at 10pm however, we get a charming flick about domestic abuse on BET.

3. The insurance hit-man they send in to get your financial information is quite menacing, even though he’s a doughy farm boy with a flushed face.

4. I was asked my name and birthday literally 25 times. Why don’t they just print up a little sign I can wear around my neck at reception so everyone is clear what my name is and when I was born?

Enough observations, now for the photos!

Bruno in a hospital gown

Bruno in Amsterdam

You weren’t expecting that!


From → personal

  1. Sarah permalink

    i need more information. what was wrong with your tooth? why did you get surgery this morning? those are just my first questions.

  2. pluprofedgar permalink

    so what was wrong with your teeth?

  3. quickbread permalink

    I will *never* forget your birthday. And that insurance guy was terrifying.

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